[***This is Friday’s post late because I was dancing down raw emotion!]

I heard the most intense orgasm is motherhood ~ that baby coming out of the birth canal. I’ll never know ~ I released it. I released the need to know. I released the need to know about primal mother birth.

THAT pre-release drove me off a mental cliff. I call the bottom the ditch. I landed in the ditch from NOT asking questions if I wanted to birth/why I seemed to be avoiding. (THAT question.)

Denial IS more than river in Egypt and it flowed thru daughter Mary Jane.

Forcing motherhood off produced Guilt. My intuitive sense says survivor guilt. For those carrying it>>> I am guilt for my peace friend in his pub along with the Archangel Mikey and Houseboat Captain and my family and the feminists. And now I reveal the wonkiest WONK that I never saw coming…

Do Not Send Your Daughters Down Here

I forced the prime yin impulse OFF in my teenage years. I can’t explain it. Because of course, I did not do that. Except I did. I will write it up in the Commanda R report — MOTHER edition. For now–

–turning the pulse ON took me becoming the Pussy General. I fought it. I landed in the ditch. I left it February 2026. Here’s what the Pussy General says 24-7 when I listen and when I don’t–

NEVER PRETEND THE DANGER IS NOT THERE NOR LOOK TO ME AS THE INFLUENCER OR TEACHER TO HELP GIRLS LEAVE THIS DISGUSTING SO-CALLED-I-WON’T-SAY-IT OLDEST PRO WORLD HELD TOGETHER NOT BY GLITTER BUTT BY PATTERN — THE PATTERN OF TIME WHICH IS WAR. GUILT. CODEPENDENT. SICK PATRIARCH. SICK YIN. TO GIVE RECEIVE ALL, TO CALL NECESSARY RESOURCES IN, I AM BUILDING 2ND QUAIL.

Intense grief on my sexual assault coming OUT — it’s not done assaulting my psyche. Six months in. Retraumization — it’s true. UGHs harder than ugly initial aggression. So many cracks to fall down. Coming to out of mental rage in the bathroom, just standing there. So many of us. So many of you and your UGH.

Coming Up Sideways ~ ~ this blog calmed down the “Re-traum” because it’s my THING to communicate this way. 300 failed blogs walks because I didn’t say what happened. Didn’t realize for MANY years it was latent Commanda R.

If you haven’t heard, it’s true: every rape story aka Commanda R walks or dies different. Like the raw emotions I felt last week…SURPRISE! Decatur Book Festival has moved! Always on Labor Day butt it’s moved to early October!

I am emotionally unprepared. This sounds like ordinary life and it is. UGH.

Like all other Icarus trips, I climbed, I crashed, then I walked my bewildered inner victim into light. I did art and danced like the 80s Maniac I am. I did this over and over for years without the power of stating what happened. Things are finally changing for me (on the inside).

How do I know it’s changed? Because when I Icarus crash, I don’t land in the ditch. Here’s what still lands me in the ditch — the STATE of my DRESS and its mess. Women without dresses on the Internet and no IMDB profile nor agent PRO to back them are automatic mess. Unless. (things I value like) nude art model, Naked Girls Reading, and all other glorious top-off NYC empowering.

{{{epitome of strength in all sex survival + willing sex AND work won’t be blogged here, be assured it will elsewhere because I live it in our gravitas}}}

What I will write here?

I’ll write someday about what you don’t value in naked girls NOT reading and I won’t make you wrong. It’s PATTERN. meanwhile, back on the naked girl Internet, I am NUDY. I came out to the public on this blog and didn’t slow down to appreciate myself on what I was doing to advance hate into love societally.

Decatur Book Fest slowed me down. Raw emotions came for me. Outing is one thing. Continuing??? U knowing NUDY. my life work wafting dangerously close 2 primal shame survival. That fight for purpose (freedom as Love), it’s…

…I’ve become so watery in psyche, I feel like a bird. The one over the ocean.

Not the authority I did want yet stuck with the power position society needs >>> sideways swerve up a hill out of the dark using my power thighs on gut instinct. TO BUILD A PATH…

Mutha Position

MUTHA position ~ visible female breasts given NUDY

–draft NUDY Manifesta

I am livingness. I owe nothing. No more proving.

This post knot NUDY gravitas, tis raw emotion.

Mutha position, sow realized, IS gravitas, wet still unknown.

do not fear my mystery change. tis needed. the turn in Fury Road

I’ll take the discordant men, you, those listening to my 24-7 warning DON’T SEND UR DAUGHTERS DOWN HERE, yes, you keep supporting less-psyche experienced waitress now needing to PUSH UP out of her Commanda R story. Owners? Managers? Bar/Restaurant!? ENCOURAGE THEM.

I’ll take the discordant men, you, those listening to my 24-7 warning DON’T SEND YOUR DAUGHTERS DOWN HERE yes, you keep supporting the less-experienced waitress woman now needing to PUSH UP out of her own story. Owners? Managers? ENCOURAGE THEM.

Back to Birth — birth of story is a mess. You down with that?

This isn’t a linear message. I am surviving my raw mess. Six months in, six more to go, I am all committed tits in. <<<I don’t need that hot phrasing; you do. That is not a slight, not shade. Tis WARNING. Because of what I know, why I do this — raw power knotted, unleashed then directed potentially holds UGH revoked access: gut checking guilt which could reign IN sex trafficking.

I don’t know what I’m doing. Except rising out of my Commanda R psyche and following my direction. raw outta the ditch >>> may your awakening love be comfort held, disturbance empowered thru ART swelling in gravitas: NUDY.

Strange, stark NUDY. Remember that. (Stark.) Rare penitent optimism. Women? I thank you this instant. Thx 4 UR early Refusal. I followed it out. Turned OFF Fury Road to build NUDY as sexual peace on what I call Affection Road. Calling 2 men directly 2 see my nakedness different. This my Refusal and my Foolishness. because what if it works what if resonance begins to happen because I sow seeds of THEIR penitent optimism into 2nd Quail resource planks with my wholly breasts? my Mutha NUDY act on Affection Road.

Good luck?!

GOOD LUCK!

ahem Post Notes

ahem. Sex?!!! that’s the whole NUDY thing…

Pussy General means sex. I won’t hide her. Won’t drag you in. Won’t keep going. (blogging on General Ma’am here.) My raw emotion now danced down because I hereby admit — I know you’re watching.

Every instance of witnessing me/Pussy General/NUDY means peace work. this HERE? Scorched Peaches is a public community blog for peace building: sexual consent awareness aka my Commanda R story. such building means transparency, honesty. do not fear me. because war is the only true obscenity.

SOW? …last bit of mystery directions anyone? …

2nd Quail >>> raw ugly UGH of why it must not fail >>>

walk out your door wander to Ponce. pivot your body/open mind west. de Leon unknown west KNOWN TO EVIL SEX TRAFFICK AS EASY PICKED GIRLS IN ATLANTA. then contemplate…did I see NUDY in this strange bold woman’s visible breasts for gross grandiose or mystery golden chest? as natural excitement, as the drumbeat for war peace?!?!? isn’t a pub as Third Place where wonder dances and power as LOVE gathers to ask: how evil is to be displaced?

in OTHER ahem words…can we put Mary Jane the 86-old MJ waitress, yeah, can we begin to put her troubled pub adult past to rest? HOW MJA? easy not simple! we build a resourced mystery dance field walking in called 2nd Quail.

when post notes need posts scripts

thank you for wading through this with me. Commanda R, beast of humanity. my story is broken girl transparency ~ the whole thing breaking thru. Maybe think of the Japanese pottery art (Kintsugi) if it helps you…

…because NUDY is my physical philosophy. Not “just” art (what a joke).

…feel raw then SECURE ~ if NUDY is seen you haven’t “broken” any sexual assault survivor “rules” because all our stories walk different. 100% secure on this walk as love is my 24-7 inner voice. anticipate. Don’t sweat my NUDY seeing or visiting if you do. Those who undress have less status. Tis my story.

Sow be it. raw scorch ACCEPTED.

Welcome to my Affection Road stand! I’m Midjah your Waitress of Boi, I’ll be right back with silver WHERE setups and 2 grab your drink orders…did anyone drop off our latest sexual consent Scorched Peaches awareness starter menu?

(((A)))