Mythic real life behind the veil ~ that’s my process here. Not fictionalization, not a few name changes. Sexual peace has a chance for IMPACT and I’m not going to NOT be bold. Yes, I’m fragile in this STORY coming out, humiliation oozing. Butt my creativity? rock solid. (I always use butt instead of but.)

This post will update each time I blog out a memoirIZATION term. Non-linear means if this feels like a live journal or incomplete, it’s ordinary rot gut shame being defeated word by word via my determination. Thxu, and good luck.

peace friend ~

peace friend has sacred origin, coming thru me July 2019 Brooklyn replacing ego identity for one specific man ~ now expanded, a peace friend is someone with whom you’ve had sex, not had sex, any form of sex, had a crush, a curiosity, a fantasy, an argument, an embarrassment, a humiliation, a tragedy, a hardship, an aggression, an abomination. someone who saw your body, manipulated your body, violated your body (your mind and emotions too). someone who stole, lied, catfished, raped or sold you. HARASSED you. someone YOU harassed, someone YOU manipulated. someone who keyed your car. someone who denied you sex, affection, communication, safety. peace friend is sexual in origin by nature of being born into a body with a human experience. trapped in a frequency band of shadowy shame & guilt. sex being a top way of dominating confusion of inherent worthiness – this blog exists because of my peace friend. because I am his. because NOW all men are my peace friend. and I am theirs. much more to come…and I won’t forget the *women.

Brick Store Oar

Represents the psyche split — Virgin v. Commanda R. memoirIZES the word for women rhyming with door as mythic gift to Brick Store Pub as nonlinear, siddhic forgiveness of ALL THINGS on ALL SIDES of this ugly sexual shame fence which is 86-MJ’s memoir story from Decatur. Long post given here.

primal peace friend ~

discerning distinction for THE human who PHYSICALLY DOMINATED, abused, and VIOLATED your body (first and foremost) which also did/will violate your MIND (second, where the “first shall be last”) and may include psyche manipulation on its own/ as OAR refuser standing SOLO anxious & afraid

shorthand in old mj/mary jane’s case: NO MEANS NO EVERY TIME

Original Babe

Original Babe

–the first person you ever called babe in a romantic or otherwise intimate sense, consensual

Theydomme ~

Men, *women, theys. This is NUDY. Male, female, transgender, cisgender, fluid, non-binary, queer, more. This is GRATEFULLY modern life as I would say in my fave PRIDE voice Free to Be. Theydomme: grace under pressure on two major planks — the non-negotiable need I have to place MY AUTHENTIC experience of the queer non-cis community in my back pocket PROTECTED in love, this #queerpeace plank not accessible for me to share (that’s a long sentence for plank one) — plank two, to be OUT FRONT with my FRONT of sex AND work, a 100% male phallus experience for me, and peace friends additional crisscrossing my Scorched Peaches time (who are men) and my hidden Decatur lesbian life (who are women) and to survive this emotionally by using a bridge word that signifies TO ME this love I can’t express which then bolsters me NOT TO BAIL…something I say to myself as much as I need so I don’t bail on my boundaries or my sexual peace process and deliver whatever is needed…They need my contribution. Theydomme ~ allowing my spirit to be dom/med by the mystery. Or, higher truth? the spirit I am surrendering.